Live Crabs

Even a week later I was hearing stories from over my cubicle wall about the person who brought live crabs to the white elephant gift exchange. That went over pretty well.

This was a work party mostly around a White Elephant Gift Exchange. Somehow I hit upon the idea that I would bring live crabs as a present. As soon as I thought of it the idea stuck in my head and I had to try it.

I ended up buying three live dungeness crabs from a grocery store while I was driving to the party. Then putting them in a giant box with paper towels at the bottom. The box was wrapped and I put a sticky note that served as a warning label. It said not to shake the box, to move it as little as possible before opening it, and to open carefully.

Because of the size, and the warning label it got opened early in the event by someone I had never met. First he picked up the box, than someone noticed the warning label and he quickly and carefully set it down. He then opened the box. Every previous person had taken there present and shown it to the entire group. That clearly was not possible, so he just said they were live crabs in a shocked voice and rather quietly so most of the room didn't hear. People didn't believe what he said, so they just got up and crowded around to see. Eventually after two or three minutes of the event being stopped, someone reached in and pulled out a crab to show the rest of the room one of them.

The present got stolen a few times, so I know it ended up with someone who wanted it. At the end of the event after fifty presents my boss came up for some final words. His first comment was "who agrees live crabs the most ridiculous present ever?" which resulted in loud cheering. A shame I will never come up with a present to match it next year.